American Idle

In a true, honest-to-goodness “WTF?” moment, Neil Patrick Harris, better known to the world as Doogie Howser, M.D. is guest judge at today’s American Idol 9 Dallas auditions.

Whoa, I did NOT see that coming. Hell, I didn’t know Harris could actually sing. So, that brings the total of guest judges to five, if you count Joe Jonas, who also appeared yesterday as part of FOX’s super-top-secret plan to have him appear at the auditions.

Squeal! So, basically, it’s a two-for-one audition deal for any Dallas fans of either a Jonas Brother or Doogie Howser. Here’s the deets, straight from E!:

The How I Met Your Mother star is sitting at the judges table today for the Dallas auditions, a Fox rep confirmed to us.

And yes, we know NPH has succeeded on Broadway and has sung a tune or two elsewhere in his entertainment endeavors. But does that make him a great judge for this type of competition?

I will answer this question, because I can. The answer, frankly, is yes, because Harris is a train wreck waiting to happen. He would be huge for the show, because the show already has enough music experts.

Idol 9 needs some crazy, and Doogie Howser brings that to the party in spades. So bring us some Doogie Howser!

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Celebrity guest judge and Grammy winner extraordinaire Mary J. Blige is slated to take the seat today in Atlanta that the other guest judge, Victoria “Posh” Beckham had in the previous two auditions.

She will join Randy, Kara and Simon at the judges’ table. As you can see from the above photos, they probably had their hands full (Simon possibly of boob). LOL

The judges will see the singers yesterday and today at the W Hotel in midtown Atlanta, the hometown of host Ryan Seacrest.

And as usual, the crazies were out in full force today, as evidenced by the photos. But one thing about the ATL is they always have really good singers, so if you’re picking an early favorite, you may wanna think about Atlanta.

Also, considering how great a singer Blige is, she’ll probably be extra tough on the very talented Southern singers, which will likely help them during the later rounds.

Today’s auditions are officially round two out of several that are scheduled, including those to be held later this fall in Hollywood, for those who are fortunate enough to make it out of their respective city.

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The crazies and a few good singers inhabited Invesco Field at Mile High in Denver this week to wrap up the first round of auditions for American Idol 9.

First up, the crazies. On a day where it reportedly felt like 150 degrees, give or take a few, this lady above went above and beyond the call of duty.

In the process, she one-upped Michael Castro’s legendary rooster-cut from last year.

This is the most fantastic rooster-cut in the history of cock-chops. Her hair is so high that birds probably nest in it, especially in Denver, just to get relief from the blazing sun.

I’m sure there were other notable singers at the auditions, but this lady goes down as one of the best cuts of all-time. It’s not even close. My hope is that somebody has video of this lady, so if you do, please send it to me.

Also, now that we’ve wrapped up Idol 9 auditions, what was with the low turnouts this year? Doesn’t anybody wanna make a buck? Or, is this show so pretentious now that all of the real amateurs are staying away?

According to multiple well-placed sources, Ashley Ferl, the Crying Girl who famously bawled for Sanjaya on American Idol 6, was eliminated in the first round of the LA auditions of American Idol 9.

She even was one of the first in line at the Rose Bowl, leading me to believe we’ll be seeing more of her in January.

What…you expected her to advance past the producers? Hah! Anyway, that slams the door shut on a potential meeting with her hero, Sanjaya. As far as we know anyway.

She could be on the show. For that, we’ll just have to see….

Meanwhile, back in reality, we have ourselves quite the video here, of a girl named Eliza Siep, whom the judges apparently LOVED at the Chicago auditions. So much so that she basically got red carpet treatment at the audition, according to Vote For The Worst.

But…it turns out Siep has a past, as evidenced by her appearance on the dating show Blind Date a few years ago. Here it is below:

Do we have our first Idol 9 controversy?

Ah, the auditions were back in session at American Idol 9, this time taking us to Los Angeles and the Rose Bowl in Pasadena.

Approximately 11,000 stepped out into the smog/sunshine and gave it their best shot.

Some met with disapproval from the judges, like these folks below, who were not given a golden ticket but will forever be linked in our hearts and our laugh boxes, especially the guy with the reverse faux-hawk and matching white sunglasses (above photo).

The Losers:

On the other hand, we had some winners. Sort of. Anyone who knows how the auditions really go, knows that there is a double-edged sword to the whole process.

For example, you may have been selected, but it may not have been for your singing ability. That could be the case with at least two of the people interviewed below, including the Darth Vader-looking guy (above photo).

The Winners (????)

The Dallas auditions of American Idol 9 went down today, with over 10,000 brave souls surviving the 100-degree heat for their shot at fame.

Another first was that the tryout was held at the new Cowboys Stadium, an impressive building indeed.

Notable entries in this year’s Dallas auditions (that I know of offhand) were Antoria Gillon, a former Star Search contestant also made somewhat infamous for becoming the first AI auditioner several years ago to give birth during the audition process.

And, who can forget Michael Castro, Jason Castro’s brother, who made it all the way to Hollywood last year before being cut prior to the mansion episode. He has a good shot of making it even further this year, and has abandoned his wild rooster cut for something more contemporary.

All told, Texas has been good to American Idol, so there will no doubt be some good singers that come from these auditions.

It rained in Chicago yesterday, just like it had in Boston last weekend for the American Idol 9 auditions, round one.

But the rains didn’t deter anyone like they did in Beantown, oh no. In fact, it’s safe to say that spirits were high as the crowds filed into lines outside the parking lot (gotta love the structure!).

Once inside the United Center, the thousands poured into their seats, only to be called down to the arena floor in groups. Hey, is there something going on with this group thing?

Other than that, there was apparently a Jamar Rogers sighting at the United Center yesterday, so the Danny Gokey sidekick theory is alive and well. His picture is above. He was given a golden ticket, according to several sources.

So what did you make of the Chicago auditions? Sounds like the ninth season is in ful swing.

Glitter Girl/middle-finger bad mama Alexis Cohen from the past two American Idol seasons was back at it again, attempting to audition in Boston, thus making her appearance–or that which she attempted–her third in as many years.

Problem was, she showed up late to the auditions and the staff at Gillette Stadium wouldn’t let her in, even though she had an invite from the show’s producers.

Maybe if Cohen pulled her head out of her butt and realized that the only reason she’s getting TV time is because of her wacko act, she’d also come to the realization that nobody actually gives a crap about her singing.

We want to see her break stuff and throw temper tantrums! WTF is this video above all about? It’s more about her whining because she’s a spoiled, pampered superstar not getting her way.

Whatever, she’ll probably be on the first flight to Chicago, or better yet, to L.A. later in the audition process. She isn’t going away yet; she’s like a cockroach attracted to the TV cameras. Those people just don’t go away; they multiply and attack.

The Atlanta auditions for American Idol 9 drew 10,000 hearty folks to the Georgia Dome.

The video above depicts a few of those who didn’t make it. Some highlights go down at about the 2:00 mark, the 3:00 mark and later in the broadcast.

Overall, It’s hilarious, it’s actually pretty good in parts and even has a stirring rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner” at the end. God Bless America and the TAL-ENT in the ATL!

We already told you why Joey Homza was booted from the American Idol 9 Boston Auditions (for handing out his business card) but we did not show you his audition.

You know, the thing he would have had, if not for some buffoonish security guards in Gillette Stadium. Whatever. We have what might have been–and could be–right here in the above video.

The funny thing about Homza’s experience is how dumb he made TPTB look , not that they haven’t looked that dumb in the past.

Anyway, after a day that involved hearing about the war between Adam Lambert and Danny Gokey’s family, the Jeff Archuleta “solicitation” and the Atlanta auditions, this story is a nice vacation.

What isn’t nice is how the security guards and Idol treated Homza, but I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of him this season. He’s starting to pick up some steam.